#2024 day 20 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

messenger-of-babel · 1 month ago

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To Lose a Dream

Summary: Leon would make any amount of wishes to make his dreams come true, but the events of Racoon change your lives forever. (Leon S. Kennedy x reader)

Word Count: 3.3K

Notes: ✨ Second Leon done! ✨ I feel it's a little rough only cause my eyes are so tired. This was a chunky piece to write so please keep that in mind haha. Roughly a third through this challenge, I don't know what I'll do with myself not writing for you all every day haha, it's honestly been such a fun month. I feel like I haven't kept some of the past themes well/ I made them vague and mentioned them in like one line, but I hope this one is clearer! Back to some DC ones in the next few days. Enjoy~! xx

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You didn’t know what to expect, coming alongside Leon.

Worry ate at your bones, staring out the window of the car as you hurtle towards Raccoon City. The rain batters at the windows, tracing patterns on the glass as you try to make out any shapes in the darkness. A hand on your thigh snaps you out of your stressed sighing, catching sight of Leon. He's got his eyes still trained on the road, the rain hard and heavy.

"He's going to be fine. I promise."

Leon does his best to soothe you, but the vice grip around your heart still doesn’t let up. You put your hand over his, curling your fingers around his larger digits. "I don't know." you say, voice tinged with fear. He squeezes your hand back weakly, the little comfort that he can provide right now.

"I'm sure it's nothing serious. Your brother hasn't answered a few calls? maybe he's just busy." Leon tries to say, keeping his tone light-hearted. "Either way, I'm sure he will be happy to see you. How long has it been since you talked?"

"He didn't call to wish me a happy birthday." you murmur, head leaning against the window. "We talked just last week."

Leon shrugged. "Maybe he just got busy?" he tries to delicately put.

"He doesn’t just miss those calls. He always makes sure that he calls. Something just feels wrong, I know it." you whisper, fist clenching in your lap. "Not to mention your work called you and told you not to come in. All my friends in raccoon aren't picking up either. I can't manage to get onto the Raccoon City news channel. Doesn't that worry you at least a little?" you stress, voice rising.

He waves his hand gently, trying to get you to lower your voice. "I understand, I do. But let's go into the city before anything happens, okay? It'll only hurt you more running through ‘what if’ scenarios before we even get there. We just need to hold it together a little longer, okay?"

You sigh in defeat and turn away, making Leon bite his lip and focus on the road once more.

He hated fighting with you, hated seeing you upset. He couldn't help the way his heart sank when your turn away from him, and he can't stop the voice in his head telling him that it was his fault. Even if you told him otherwise, he ached seeing you so stressed. You had come to him crying that night worried that your brother hadn't called you like he did annually, more so when the phone wouldn’t even connect to his when you tried to return it. Seeing you so distressed he let you come with him to Racoon City, knowing he was heading in for his first scheduled day. He just wanted to alleviate your worry and anxiety, but now Leon was starting to feel like he had just made it worse by bringing you along. You kept talking about the feeling in your gut, the cold that seeped to freeze your heart over with fear.

He kept brushing it off, doing his best to assure you that everything was okay, but as he pulled up to the outskirts of Raccoon City, he knew he should have believed you.

He should have turned the car around when he saw the smoke, when he saw the fire flickering off the windows. Should have listened to you halfway down the highway the first time you said you felt anxious and taken you both home. Then you both would have been safe, anxious and worried, but safe, nonetheless. Instead, he drives forward, eyes widening in the carnage as you roll to a stop. Cars and buildings are on fire, debris and shattered glass scattered over the road.

"I think we should-" he tries to say around the lump in his throat, but the sound of a car door slamming breaks his thought. His eyes widen with fear, blood cooling as he sees you through the windscreen glass, running down the street.

He jumps into action like he's been shocked, running from the driver’s seat and unbuckling himself like he was branded. "Hey!" he calls out, voice stern but terrified. He pushes his legs to catch up with you, lungs burning when he finally does. "Do not run off on me, you understand?" he yells, spinning you around to face him. You turn, studying him. Panic is etched onto every line of his face, pupils shifting rapidly as he checks you over. "This isn't safe, we need to think. It's not safe for you."

"But it's safe for you?" you snap back, making him falter. "I'm not leaving till I find my brother. He might be trapped here, with no one to help. I have to know what's happening." tears burn at your lashes and your hands wipe them away. His heart shatters and he pulls you in for a tight hug, like the both of you aren't standing in the middle of a crater ridden road. "it's gonna be okay, I promise." he whispers into your hair.

He wished upon every star and every cell in his body that he could rewind time so that you never found your brother.

Very quickly the both of you realised that something awful had happened to the city, when the first resident came ambling after you and nearly took a chunk out of Leon's arm. Now both of you were sneaking into around your brother’s neighbourhood, armed with only some wooden planks you ripped from a boarded-up store.

You were adamant that you were going to find your brother, and you resisted every time that Leon tried to bring you back to the car and away from all of this. When you finally saw the figure of your older sibling, you thought you were about to collapse in relief. With a sigh and grateful tears springing to your eyes, you called his name, wood weapon dropping from your hands.

You couldn't hear Leon's screams for you to get back over the thudding of your feet on the broken-up road, eyes too blurred with tears to see the way that your brother walked with a limp. When you threw yourself on him you squeezed your eyes shut, about to sob in happiness. However, when you felt him turn to embrace you back, a blooming pain ran through your shoulder.

With a shriek your eyes fly open and you try to push him off, ears rushing with the sound of blood and Leon's shouting. You look into the face of your brother, his visage more flesh than skin. His skin was puckered and eyes a milky white, hair patchy and skin blood drained.

He was gone.

"Get off!" Leon hollers from behind you, swinging the plank directly into your brothers- no, the zombie's face, and sending it staggering backwards. He catches you as you stumble back, pulling your flush against his chest. Your hands fly up to try and staunch the sticky flow of blood, shock beginning to settle in.

"Hey, hey, look at me." he commands, eyes darting between you and the corpse struggling to get up from the ground. "We need to get going, can you do that for me?"

You look back, breath hitching as you see what remained of your brother. You remembered his smile, his hugs. The way he lifted you up when you were little and swung you around the room while you pretended to be a superhero. Now all that remained was a blood hungry pile of flesh and bone, filled with a dark malice.

"Sweetheart, you need to focus."

Leon's tense voice cuts through the fog in your mind, his hand coming to press down hard over yours on the wound. You manage a shaky breath and a brief nod of your head, an action that make you wince as your shoulder burns violently.

"Okay, okay, let's get you somewhere safe." he murmurs mostly to himself, an arm coming around you to keep you close to his side. His heartbeat races with worry, scanning his brain for anything. This wasn't his city; he hadn't even visited before tonight. You provided the directions up until now, but with the ragged way you were breathing, you weren't really in the position to help him. in the distance, his peripheral vision strikes a hit.

The sign of the RPD burns itself into his vision, and he quickly reroutes his steps to hurry there.

"Hold on, just a little longer." he says quietly down to you, anxiety peaking as he watches as you half stumble over your own feet.

He wished on the moon and the sky that he had never brought you to the Raccoon City Police Department.

Within, you had both found yourselves befriending an officer named Marvin, who was injured similarly to you. Leon had gotten chewed out pretty badly for showing up regardless of the call that told him not to, something Leon defended in the way you know only Leon could. You were resting on a spare stretcher next to Marvin, bite patched up weakly with some bandages that were already damp with red.

Despite the situation, you couldn't help the smile that flitted over your face when Leon came back into the room, dressed in the RPD uniform.

"Don't you look handsome." you say softly, making him chuckle. He comes to lean down by your side, giving you a quick peck on the lips. "I'm starting to think that you just like a guy in uniform." he teases, a light blush dusting the bridge of his nose.

"Could you blame me?" you tease back, and he shakes his head with a light scoff. He helps you sit up, and you swing your feet to touch the marble floor of the RPD lobby. You wished you could remember the sparkle in those bright blue eyes, before Marvin made him go to the office to fetch something. You followed after him softly, despite your boyfriend's insistence that you stay back to rest.

"It's not that far." you say softly, pointing in the direction. "Just that room, okay?"

He had looked to Marvin, but the older officer looked away and held his hands up, muttering something about not getting involved.

That's why you were here now, watching him forlornly as he gingerly traches his fingers along the wood that was going to be his desk. His back rounds as he leans on the desk, blonde hair flopping pathetically as he tries to hold himself together.

'W E L C O M E L E O N ' hangs above the desk in yellow and blue, decorated just for him. You watch just behind him on the small stairs overlooking the area, letting him have the moment to himself. He sinks lower so he can sit in the chair, staring up at the decorations with his hands in his lap. You can imagine him here during the day, the hustle and bustle of the office around him. You imagine his coworkers flitting around him, giving him smiles and maybe even ruffling his hair. You can picture his wide smile, your favourite one, stretching across his face as the older officers give him shit for being a rookie.

The memory glows like a warm sun, a golden hope that flickered between the both of you. The ideals that he whispered to you when you went to bed, his tone soft and giddy even though he tried to control it. His hopes, dreams and plans for the future he told you with a soft smile, eyes hazy as he let himself daydream before drifting off to sleep next to you.

Your hands clench on the banister, heart aching. The first day he never got to have, but the first day that he had dreamed of ever since he graduated the police academy.

The first day that he deserved.

You watch your boyfriend take a deep breath, and the golden 'what if' that played around him like a movie faded away until it was just you two back in that cold, dark, room. You go to call out to him, but you voice wavers like there’s a block in it. You only make a half-gurgled sound, eyes rolling into your head as the world spins.

As soon as he hears you hit the ground behind him, he's up and out of his seat, panic flooding his senses for the second time. Leon half drags you back into the adjoining room, setting you back onto the stretcher. Marvin is by his side in an instant, fingers going to press against your neck.

You can hear them talking, but it's like there's an undercurrent of thought.

So hungry...

You groan at the intrusion in your mind, making Leon shush you and grip your hand. "Don't try to speak." he says softly, worry tinging his tone. Despite both of their hands you try to sit up, whole body burning. Your skin feels too hot, like a frog realising it's been trapped in the pot. Your breath feels short and tight in your chest, vision swimming as you try to make out the people in front of you.

"How are you feeling?" Marvin asks, and your eyes flit over to him. you shake your head.

"Bad." you croak out. "It feels bad. It feels really really bad." you cry, face splitting into a sob as your shoulder pulses painfully. "it's all hot everywhere, and it's hard to breathe, and it all hurts."

You hate these people...

You close your eyes to try and prevent the words that wriggle into your mind, twisting and warping like worms. You shake your head. "I don't feel good. Please." you splutter. "Please what do I do?"

Lean turns to Marvin, frantic in his words. "What do I have to do? How can we help?" he rushes out, grabbing the older man's arm. However, Marvin doesn't respond, face grim and taking a step back from you.

"She's turning fast." he murmurs lowly, regarding you with caution. You writhe, still seated on the stretcher, not even feeling the dull pain when your overheated body collides with the marble floor. Leon goes to help you up, but Marvin holds him back.

"You have what was in the box on your desk?" Marvin murmurs, making Leon's breath hitch.

"Yes." he breathes back, eyes wide and fearful. "You don't mean to-"

Marvin nods. "I'm sorry, son. Look at how fast she's changing. She'll hurt you. She isn't changing normally."

And you weren't.

Your skin felt like it was on fire, causing you to shriek and wail in between your hiccups and sobs as you rolled on the floor. It felt like there was fire consuming your entire body, scorching your nerves and arteries. You look up at Leon through hazy eyes, pushing onto your hands and knees. "Leon," you rasp. "Leon, help me. Please. Please, please help me." you sob. It feels hard to get air into your lungs from the hands of panic closing around your lungs. You manage to crawl, looking up at him through tears.

Leon himself has tears dripping down his nose and cheeks, eyes wide and skin pale. There’s a tremor in his body, his breathing short. he doesn’t look entirely there, but he takes a deep breath before looking at Marvin.

"No. No, I can't do this." he says, voice breaking. "Where's the cure? You bastard, tell me where the cure is!" he yells at Marvin, face scrunching in desperation. Marvin shakes his head, leaning on the wall to support his own weakened body.

"That is the cure, son." he tries to say softly, but it's hard with the young man raging in front of him.

"Cure?" you croak, making Leon look down at you. He makes a heart shattering sound as you look up at him, his lips wobbling. That's when you see the gun shaking in his other hand, half hidden behind his body, and you freeze. You begin trying to crawl away backwards.

"No, no." you murmur, voice weak and shaky. "Please, no."

Your skin is itching violently, like a million mosquitoes came to take the blood from you, leaving welts in their wake. "Please, Leon. I wanna live. Please no, I'm sorry." you voice breaks and tears stream down your cheeks.

You hate them, YOU HATE THEM....

You hold your head and wail as the thoughts get worse.

HUNGRY.

"Please Leon, please." your murmur, rocking back and forth. "Leon, please, save me. spare me, please." you whimper, but you aren't sure if you even manage to pronounce the words properly. Your vision feels murky, and as you tip your head up you can hardly see out of your right eye. Your left eye takes in the blurry image of Leon, red faced and wiping frantically at his eyes.

"Leon, I love you." you call out weakly, a pitiful sound crawling from the depths of your throat that resonates in the quiet lobby.

Leon wished on whatever god and heaven above that after what he was about to do, they would let you through their doors.

Leon feels like he can't breathe. His heart is racing so hard he thinks he might have a heart attack, or the organ was going to speed right out of his chest. The only thing in his ears is the rushing of blood and the thumping of his heartbeat. His lips are stained with tears, eyes feeling like they're about to swell from the pressure from crying.

He wanted to believe you. He wanted to save you. He wanted to love you.

You still had days together, a future that needed to be made. But when he saw you as you looked up at him, the way one of your eyes was already a milky white and the way your skin seemed to pucker, he knew you were going. His heart tore at every scream and wail of desperation that left your lips as you writhed in pain, and he felt his soul tear every time you begged for him to listen, to not kill you. The way you begged for your life like he was some kind of executioner.

But he knew in the bottom of his heart, that you were gone. You were fading in front of him quicker than he could preserve the memory of your face, or the way your face split when you were smiling instead of screaming. He knew it in the bottom of his heart when you hit the floor rolling off the medical bed, not noticing the blood that trickled from your temple when you sat up. You were unaware of the way your lips spilled blood like a waterfall onto your chin and chest. You didn't say anything about the way your skin inflamed and warped, the veins in your arms filling with a sickly hue. Yet with your one good eye you pleaded with him, the only thing left of you the colour that he adored.

The colour he made his stationary so he could think of you even while he was at work. The colour that he went and bought a tie in so he could match you for events and Christmas parties. the colour that he had daydreamed you passing on to kids one day. He watched the colour fade from your left eye like he was watching a sunset, the beautiful hue slowly become murky while your mouth still wordlessly pleaded at him.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart," he whispers, although he isn't even sure if you can hear him with the tremor in his voice. He raises the gun, gripping it the way that he was taught. "I love you too."

Then there was a bang, a soft thud, and the lobby was quiet once more.

September 30th, 1998.

That was the date that Leon lost the two most important dreams of his life.

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